I kind of feel that in today’s society being stressed and busy has almost been glamorised. For example, we see a YouTuber constantly busy, filming and editing until the early hours of the morning, sacrificing their sleep, just to get content out and we assume that this pressure and stress directly correlates to their success. We see Instagram Influencers rushing around to all these different events often with hundreds of thousands of followers and believe they must make a crap tonne of money (therefore be successful).
But is this true? Does being constantly busy and stressed equate to success?
First of all I would ask you to consider what is 'success' in your mind? Because I can guarantee my definition of success is different to yours. And I can doubly guarantee your definition of success is different to your Grandma's. So before we ask the question of if stress equals success, we first have to understand what we mean when we talk about success.
To you, success might mean running a multi-million dollar business with hundreds of employees.
It might mean building a beautiful family and being a stay at home parent.
It might mean getting out of bed every morning and being excited for life.
It might mean all of the above. But I need you to get specific with what success means to you.
For me success is leading a life that makes me feel truly fulfilled because I am helping change women's lives. In turn it provides me with the abundance I desire to live a life of freedom and do what I want, when I want, how often I want, with who I want.
However, I have to admit that in the past I too, have been guilty of being sucked into thinking stress equates to being successful. I think due to the constant stream of people’s ‘seemingly perfect’ yet super busy and ‘exciting’ lives on social media, it's all too easy to forget about our own reality and our own version of success (which is why I wanted to make sure you were crystal clear about your version of it). If you take one thing from this blog, it's to remember that what we see on social media is;
A). A highlight reel. People will only post what they want you to see. Fact.
B). Posts and stories and vlogs are only a snippet into someones day. We can't fully understand someones mental health from a few photos posted on Instagram. We can't possibly know the ins and outs of a Bloggers day just from a 10 minute vlog.
Yet we put so much pressure on ourselves to mimic this level of success and do so my creating stress in our lives.
Why? Because there is this weird concept that in order to be successful it means you have to be overworked, stressed af and have no time to look after yourself.
Well, I'm here to say this is call bullshit.
That constant need to feel busy and put ourselves under stress because we think this will equal success, is damaging to our mental and physical health. Stress is an epidemic in the western world and over two thirds of GP visits are for stress related illness. TWO THIRDS! Our bodies are constantly under attack by stressors of the modern world. Notifications, traffic, technology distractions, mess, jobs, Starbucks (because let's be honest Starbucks is an anxiety inducing hellhole). We can't afford to be intentionally adding to that already existing stress, just in order to 'get ahead'. Stress is killing us. Is it really worth it just to appear successful in someone else's eyes? Because that is the reason I believe people get truly stressed when it comes to running a business or trying to be the best Mum. It is because they are putting unnecessary pressure on themselves to try and achieve a goal that isn't even theirs. If you want to build a business, great. Yes there will be stresses along the way and big decisions that might keep you up at night but it will be worth it because you love it. You dream of being the world's best stay at home Mum? Great. Yes there will be a whole lot of stress and lack of sleep along the way but as long as that is what you truly want to do, it will be worth it.
The reason stress often hets the better of us is because we're too damn worried about other peoples opinions of us. We're too busy focusing on what other people think of us. We're too obsessed with getting other peoples approval and validation to be their version of successful.
Girl, let me tell you something right now that I wish I learnt a loooong time ago. The only approval you need is your own and what other people think about you is none of your damn business.
As for the need to feel busy all the time, I run my own business and let me tell you, busy doesn’t always mean productive and stressed almost never means successful. Yes, a lot of elements of running a business can be stressful but there is definitely not a correlation between the two. Whilst you have to put in the time and effort to build a brand and business (consistency is key) just because you see someone doing 1001 things on the daily on their Instagram stories, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are successful.
So my advice to you if you are also trying to build a business/personal brand or simply just be the best version of yourself, is remember your health and wellbeing should ALWAYS come before your business (and everything else). You are your business and if you become burnt out from trying to *look* busy and successful then you have no business. If you try to impress all the other Mums by trying to *look* like the best Mum, you won't have the energy to actually be the best Mum. This is why investing in yourself and your health (mental & physical) is crucial. This is why self-care is paramount. This is why you need to stay in your own lane and focus on your own life rather than comparing it to strangers on the internet.
What I’m trying to say is don’t kill yourself trying to appear successful because whilst the ‘grind’ is important, YOU are more important.
Stress is NOT glamorous.
Stress is NOT fun.
Stress is NOT success.
Happiness is success.
Fulfilment is success.
Having energy to continue to do the things you love doing and showing up as the best expression of yourself, is success.
Let me leave you with this... When you're on your deathbed, do you think you will look back over your life and feel happy knowing you overworked yourself so hard that stress broke you and damaged every relationship you cared about? Or will you look back and feel content knowing you valued the people and experiences in your life over followers. likes, stress and success?
I know which one I'd pick.
I'd love to know what you thought about this blog, so as always any feedback is very welcome and appreciated. Drop me a comment over on my latest IG photo or send me an email. And of course if you think this blog could help someone then do me a massive favour and share it with them.